using cinema as enema
to flush out and purge Zone War ‘scholar’,
Gary W. ‘Gardevil’ Wright
by Doktor A.I. Smithee
For too many twilit decades, the literary and film artists of the dread allegorical Zone Wars used their fiction and film art to rage and battle over the helicopter crash that killed actor/director/writer Vic Morrow and child extras Renee Chen and Myca Le at around 2:20 am in the morning of July 23, 1982 on the Vietnam War era village set of the John Landis episode of the Kathleen Kennedy associate produced and Frank Marshall executive produced and allegorical Landis, Joe Dante, George Miller and Steven Spielberg film, TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE (1983). While never hiding their implicit intentions, the fiction and film artists of the dread Zone Wars were able to hide in plain view, as most audiences, critics and reviewers did not or simply refused to understand the implicit intent of their twilit and allegorical fiction and film art. Tragicomically, that visible invisibility ended in 2010 when a lone film ‘scholar’, one Gary W. ‘Gardevil’ Wright-the fan with no fear-based in the Streetsville area of Mississauga, Ontario, suddenly appeared on the world internet scene with his ‘insightful’ site, www.zonewarsonfilm.com., with a book length look at the film art of George Walton Lucas jr. and dozens of enlightening essays on the other main allegorical fiction and film artists of the dread Zone Wars. Twilit ‘enlightenment’ that clearly struck a sensitive nerve, as Jason Reitman soon implicitly roasted him and his ‘perceptive’ site in the symbolic form of Charlize Theron’s equally haunted and unhappy YA author, Mavis Gary, in his allegorical film, YOUNG ADULT (2011).
As YOUNG ADULT proved to be only the first of a new sub-genre of films within the Zone Wars implicitly devoted to addressing the ‘scholarly’ ravings of the poor ol’ Gardevil, clearly it was best to devote an equally insightful essay to this implicitly ‘gar-raising’ and tragicomic new sub-genre in an attempt to better understand why a Gar had been born. Significantly, however, this new sub-genre did not arrive out of the blue, as a number of eerily prescient films released in the years before 2010 had implicitly and uncannily heralded the arrival of the Gardevil in yet more memories of the future, starting with the ominous and twilit allegorical John Boorman film, EXCALIBUR (1981), whose unintentional hilarity at times confirmed that the allegorical Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones film, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975), was indeed an implicit roast of New Hollywood film artists.
‘You and the land are one. Drink!’
For after being betrayed by Nicholas Clay’s Sir Lancelot, depression, disease and disharmony destroyed the health, peace and tranquility of the New Hollywood linked Camelot of Nigel Terry’s implicitly Lucas linked and resembling King Arthur, anticipating the depression, disease and disharmony that would overwhelm New Hollywood and STAR WARS box office king Lucas after the TZ disaster and audience rejection of the Lucas executive produced and allegorical Richard Marquand film, STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983). This bleak state of affairs sent the Knights of Camelot on desperate quests to find the Holy Grail and use it to heal the wounds of King Arthur and Camelot. Only Paul Geoffrey’s perseverant Sir Perceval found the Holy Grail and brought the divine chalice back to heal King Arthur and Camelot, implicitly anticipating the poor ol’ perseverant Gardevil’s own tragicomic quest to bring allegorical knowledge, health and harmony back to the Temple Theatre so as to free Chen, Le and Morrow from the Twilight Zone…forever. Prescient forebodings of the arrival of an equally perseverant real life Knight that were even stronger and more accurate in the personified form of the sturdy and stalwart Gar-played by Ben Hammer-the adoptive father of the indomitable Dar-played by Marc Fisher-in the eerily twilit, prescient and allegorical Don Coscarelli film, THE BEASTMASTER (1982), a film released only a month after the TZ disaster in August of 1982. Prescient forebodings that continued when Allan Moyle and company kicked off the Nineties with their irrepressible, indomitable, full throttle and hard talking allegorical film, PUMP UP THE VOLUME (1990), clearly inspired by the equally dissatisfied and allegorical Don Owen film, NOBODY WAVED GOODBYE (1964).
‘This is deep. Your message is out there!’
Indeed, no other allegorical Zone War film eerily and implicitly anticipated the arrival of the gloomy and irascible Scrappy Gary Gardevil and www.zonewarsonfilm.com than PUMP UP THE VOLUME. And ably anticipated, as PUMP UP THE VOLUME was one of the leading films of the dread Zone Wars, with an awesome, shrewd, knowing and fearless screenplay, inspiring direction, great cinematography, sound, music, lighting, costumes and sets, and a fine, inspired and talented young cast who rose up superbly to the challenge and graced the screen with moving and memorable performances, particularly Christian Slater as mysterious, morose, righteously furious, crusading, Great Oz linked and Gardevil anticipating teenage Wolfman Jack DJ, ‘Happy’ Harry Hardon (HHH) aka Mark Hunter, a fitting name given that Hunter resembled, dressed spoke and acted like Peter Kastner’s Peter Mark of NOBODY WAVED GOODBYE throughout the film. The performances were helped along by the great screenplay, for from the first cynical line ‘…do you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?’, to the last defiant line ‘…turn on the truth!’, PUMP UP THE VOLUME had most of the best lines of the entire Zone Wars.
Having the good fortune to utter most of these lines was Hunter, whose bored, depressed, sarcastic, honest, angst ridden and always twilit and Zonebusting rants on the air came from his pirate radio station in his room deep down in the turbulent subconscious depths of his parents’ home high in the Hollywood Hills evoking heights of the suburb of Paradise Hills, Arizona-naturally!-given that the telltale ‘zone’ in Arizona implicitly confirmed that this film was inspired by and ranting about the fatal disaster in the Twilight Zone. As a Library Technician at Streetsville Secondary School in Mississauga, Ontario, it was nice to see that ‘Happy’ Harry liked dropping by the school library, signing out and reading books like Lenny Bruce’s posthumous autobiography, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People (1967), naturally published the year I was born, confirming the presciently anticipatory and implicit link of ‘Happy’ Harry to Scrappy Gary.
This implicitly anticipatory link between Scrappy Gary and ‘Happy’ Harry’ was affirmed by the fact that HHH’s righteous rants always had an implicit link to the TZ disaster. This link to the TZ disaster was underlined by the favourite target of HHH’s righteous rants, the dastardly, diabolic and implicitly Kennedy and Spielberg linked duo of the Wicked Witch of the West-like Principal Loretta Creswood and her favourite obsequious Nikko the flying monkey King-like Vice Principal, Murdock-played by Annie Ross and Andy Romano, respectively-who were discovered and revealed to be illegally profiting off the forced expulsion of ‘problem’ teens from Hubert H. Humphrey High School-making HHH literally the righteously indignant heart, mind, soul and voice of HHH. Of course, illegally profiting from discarded teens reminded us that Kennedy and Spielberg had profited from the disappearance of Chen, Le and Morrow with TZ disaster themed Zone War film art. To support the implicit meaning of the film, a license plate in the film was seen to end with the fateful numbers 723, openly linking PUMP UP THE VOLUME to the 7/23/1982 date of the TZ disaster.
The surname of ‘Happy’ Harry’s girlfriend, Nora Diniro-pronounced ‘De Niro’, and played by Samantha Mathis-evoked that of Robert De Niro, also implicitly affirming the film’s interest in New Hollywood film art and artists-and in crusading against twilit blockbuster films, as both Diniro and De Niro evoked ‘dinero’, the Spanish word for dollar. The fact that Robert Schenkkan’s Evil and implicitly Marshall linked HHH Head Guidance Counsellor, David Deaver, looked like the twin brother of William Hurt also reaffirmed the implicit meaning of the film. For Hurt was forever linked to the year of the release of TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE through his character Nick Carlton in the twilit and allegorical Lawrence Kasdan film, THE BIG CHILL (1983), one of the first films to address the TZ disaster. The surname of James Hampton’s FCC bigwig Arthur Watts not only linked the film to EXCALIBUR and implied that Watts symbolized Lucas, but also evoked Robert Watts, a producer who had worked with Lucas on the Indiana Jones Trilogy, reiterating the implicitly link of Watts to Lucas and of PUMP UP THE VOLUME to the Zone Wars.
Thus, the triumph of Diniro and Hunter over the Wicked Principal Creswood, Deaver the Cleaver and Monkey King Murdock anticipated the triumph of Wright and his film ‘scholarship’ over Kennedy, Marshall and Spielberg, in the end.
As such, PUMP UP THE VOLUME was the ultimate prescient Zonebuster film, and one that no doubt inspired the poor ol’ Gardevil in his cyber rants. For the message was still out there, and the truth was still a virus that needed to infect the world-and the Temple Theatre. The sight of the pretty, wealthy, fashion loving and Sofia Coppola evoking Paige Woodward-in perhaps Coppola’s first symbolic appearance on film, and played by Cheryl Pollak-being inspired by ‘Happy’ Harry to turn her back on her privileged life and take up the crusading Zonebusting cause years before Coppola’s arrival in the Temple Theatre and twenty years before the arrival of Scrappy Gary in 2010 was also no doubt an adorably cute, irresistible and chronologically quixotic twist. Particularly when Woodward stood up for the truth and ‘Happy’ Harry with an impromptu and impassioned speech at the emergency PTA meeting that saw a parent who looked like Rutger Hauer’s twin brother sitting in the audience listening to the speech, for the scene linked the film openly to the twilit and disastrous events of 1982 via Hauer’s character Roy Batty in the eerily prescient and twilit allegorical Sir Ridley Scott film, BLADE RUNNER (1982). Awww…think hard, write hard, talk hard, love hard-and turn up the truth! Eerily garish prescience that also appeared in the allegorical Robert Longo film, JOHNNY MNEMONIC (1995).
‘And believe it, they did not want you to get this information.’
For while implicitly linked to David Cronenberg, the sight of Johnny Mnemonic-played by Keanu Reeves-downloading to the internet the Pharmakom data that he was carrying in his head in his biodigital memory drive that helped resolve the world Nerve Attenuation Syndrome (NAS) crisis that was plaguing the world, in the end, presciently anticipated the arrival of Wright and his equally priceless Zone War data on the internet. Indeed, the fact that JOHNNY MNEMONIC was mostly filmed in Toronto and alluded to the allegorical Cronenberg film, VIDEODROME (1982)-also filmed in Toronto-thus openly linking the film to the twilit and disastrous year of 1982, affirmed its eerie prescience. And of course, the presence of Dan Eisenstein’s teenage John Candy lookalike Donald in PUMP UP THE VOLUME no doubt helped influence the appearance of another indomitable, haunted and Gardevil anticipating sadolescent Zonebuster named Donald who would appear, and battle for the truth and for the end of the dread Zone Wars in the allegorical and PUMP UP THE VOLUME evoking Richard Kelly film, DONNIE DARKO (2001).
‘Do you believe in time travel?’
Of course we do, Frank-played by James Duval-particularly when it asked the question dressed up in a big nightmare bunny suit that evoked the nightmare bunny that popped out of the magic top hat of Kevin McCarthy‘s Uncle Walt in the Dante episode of TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE in a way that implicitly affirmed that DONNIE DARKO was addressing the TZ disaster. For the Gardevil was known to LOVE memories of the future and quixotic chronological chaos at his fanctum sanctorum-the Mighty FUTZ? And even more so when they occurred in a sweet and moving allegorical film that saw an implicitly TZ disaster depressed and implicitly Wright-on true fan and Catholic school boy, Donnie Darko-played by Jake Gyllenhaal-decide in the end that the only way to liberate Chen, Le, Morrow, the Temple Theatre and the world from the Zone was to symbolically travel back in time in a classic Einsteinian and Hawking worm hole to July 23, 1982 and let the downed Huey helicopter-symbolized in the film by a falling jet engine from a passing passenger plane-fall on him instead of the TZ trio, thus dying like Jesus so that others would live. And so that film art would live, symbolized in the film by Jena Malone’s sweet Gretchen Ross, her surname confirming the implicit allegorical intent of DONNIE DARKO as Steve Ross was the head of Warner Brothers, the studio that produced and reluctantly released TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE. Awww, what earnest Zonebuster could resist a sweet and moving film like DONNIE DARKO, particularly one who had always uneasily and guiltily understood that the impressive special effects explosion that took down the Huey helicopter on the Landis set in the early morning hours of July 23, 1982 was meant for his Boomer kid generation and himself-soi disant Gen X-thus, making his generation and himself partially responsible for the TZ disaster? Clearly, the poor ol’ Gardevil could not. Indeed, this fine film was implicitly one of his favourite and most inspirational films-on top of being still perhaps the finest and most moving film of the new millennium. Making it doubly fitting that Kelly was implicitly linked to Matt ‘Daredevil’ Murdock-played by Scott Terra as a lad, and Ben Affleck as a laddish man-in the twilit, elektrafying and allegorical Mark S. Johnson film, DAREDEVIL (2003), a film inspired by a character created for Marvel Comics by Stan Lee, Bill Everett and Jack Kirby about a man with no fear that anticipated the arrival of a fan with no fear that some called Gardevil.
‘I’m sure you’ll do the right thing.’
Indeed, Daredevil’s ability to see without seeing reminded us that you needed inner qualities like intuition, imagination, insight and intelligence if you expected to truly see and understand the world, solar system, galaxy and universe around you and use that understanding to unravel allegorical art like the poor ol’ Gardevil. And if you just ate your fruit and vegetables, cut down on sugary junk foods, drank lots of water, and enjoyed regular exercise, you would become a superhero like Daredevil and Gardevil. Clearly, the haunted and troubled but forceful Fours were flowing, as we headed toward the arrival of the Gardevil on the internet in 2010 or 2011, a flow implicitly reaffirmed by Sarah Sugarman’s Wright anticipating and supporting, and Coppola bashing, allegorical film, CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN (2004).
‘I’m the kind of riffraff they try to keep out.’
A kinder and gentler version in classic Disney fashion of the allegorical Brian De Palma film, CARRIE (1976), an implicitly and righteously furious roast of blockbuster obsessed New Hollywood film artists, CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN saw Lindsay Lohan’s implicitly Carrie White and Gary Wright linked Mary Cep face down and triumph over Megan Fox's implicitly Coppola linked Carla Santini in the end by being chosen to play Eliza Doolittle in ELIZA ROCKS, the Dellwood High School year end play, a reimagined version of George B. Shaw’s allegorical play, PYGMALION (1913). Indeed, Sugarman implicitly underlined Cep’s links to Wright by having her move from a Toronto linked New York-an implicit link affirmed by the fact that most of the film’s New York scenes were actually filmed in Toronto-to a Mississauga evoking New Jersey to attend a high school that looked like the Streetsville Secondary School in the Streetsville area of Mississauga where Wright worked as a Library Technician. The fact that Cep rode around her Streetsville evoking area of New Jersey on an orange bicycle with a black saddle reiterated the interest in SSS, as Hallowe’en-and Eye of the Tiger-orange and black were the colours of the school. The fact that the film’s mall scenes were filmed at Erin Mills Town Centre in Mississauga reaffirmed the implicit link of Cep to Wright, as Erin Mills Town Centre was where the poor ol’ Gardevil shopped as it was the closest mall to his fanctum sanctorum. Clearly, the memories of the future arrival of his Zonebusting site and itself were already revolving around in the anxious minds of the film artists of Gollywood and troubling their sleep with garrifying wrightmares, an implication reaffirmed by the arrival of the wrightmarishly prescient and allegorical film by the eerily surnamed Edgar Wright, SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010), in the very year that Gardevil arrived on the internet.
‘Consider our fight-begun!’
For the sight of Michael Cera’s quintessential crazy Canucklehead, Scott Pilgrim, taking on and taking out Evildoers implicitly linked to Evil Hollywood film artists-including the ultimate Evildoer, Jason Schwartzman’s implicitly Landis linked indie music producer, Gideon Graves-in a film openly set in the mysterious land of Toronto, was definitely the most ominously prescient memory of the Gardevil future film yet. A wrightmarish presence noticed and addressed by Reitman the following year in YOUNG ADULT.
‘You’re better than this.’
For the tragicomic sight and sound of Charlize Theron’s diehard mean girl, struggling young adult writer and Wicked Witch of the West wannabe Mavis Gary peevishly accepting an invitation to leave her tiny and untidy cell of an apartment in a building on Marquette Avenue overlooking the Mississippi River in the mini-Apple of Minneapolis, Minnesota and driving with her film art evoking Pomeranian, Dolce, and Teenage Fanclub’s constantly playing tune, ‘The Concept’ (1991), to her star linked hometown of Mercury, MN to pretend to welcome and attend the christening of the baby daughter of her ex-high school sweetheart, Buddy Slade, and his wife, Beth-played by Patrick Wilson and Elizabeth Reaser, respectively-while instead trying to destroy the Slade marriage and win Buddy back to her, only to bitterly, furiously and sarcastically denounce the baby, Buddy, Beth, her other friends, family members and the star linked town of Mercury as a whole when Buddy turned down her offer, and drive back to the mini-Apple alone-all of the while pointedly avoiding answering any phone messages about the cancellation of her Waverly Prep young adult series from her publisher, Jim, voiced by Simmons in another lucky charm role, as she was in denial of the cancellation-evoked a similar, real life nasty incident and person. Indeed, the allegorical film reminded us that in September of 2010, thirteen months before the December 2011 release of YOUNG ADULT in theatres, the poor ol’ Gardevil had accepted an invitation sent out via newspapers to the world and to itself in his tiny and untidy cell of an apartment overlooking the Credit River in Mississauga, Ontario to attend the opening and christening of the new permanent headquarters of the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) at the corner of King and John streets in his star linked hometown of Toronto. Accordingly, he drove up to Toronto with a good friend from that cell of an apartment in Mississauga to attend the grand opening and ‘christening’ of the spanking new TIFF building.
Things started off well, but quickly turned sour when Wright looked through the free TIFF souvenir magazine and pondered a list of what TIFF believed to be the One Hundred Essential Films. Noticing that TIFF had only two and a half allegorical Canadian films-Michael Snow’s WAVELENGTH (1967), David Cronenberg’s VIDEODROME (1982) and John Huston’s THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)-the poor ol’ Gardevil had a conniption and hit the roof, convinced that TIFF had deliberately snubbed Canadian film art, Canadian film artists, and the Toronto, Ontario and Canadian taxpayers who had mostly paid for the permanent TIFF headquarters. Not surprisingly, later that night, when the persnickety film ‘scholar’ returned to that tiny cell of an apartment in Mississauga still trembling in fury, he wrote a righteously furious and nasty letter blasting the implied insult to all Canadians trashing TIFF, TIFF CEO Piers Handling, TIFF second-in-command Cameron Bailey and the Reitman clan who had donated the land and some money for the TIFF headquarters, a furious letter signed by him and with his name and address on the return address of the envelope. In addition, legend has it that in the months that followed, Wright also wrote and mailed several more righteously furious letters, some disguised by being put into different sized and coloured envelopes with spoof male and female names and return addresses on the envelopes-he might have even used the name Mavis on one of the spoof female names-so that the receivers would not know who had really written the equally furious missives until they opened the envelope and read the signed letter. Most of these letters also shamelessly plugged his website, www.zonewarsonfilm.com, to really drive the readers crazy. Clearly, Reitman read the first nasty letter and maybe some of the follow-ups, didn’t like them, and decided to team up again with screenwriter Diablo Cody, screenwriter and inspiration for the allegorical film, JUNO (2007), and return the nasty favour with YOUNG ADULT.
Given that Mavis Gary shared Wright’s first name as her surname, and given that her first name Mavis was an actual street in Mississauga, and a street not far away from where he lived in the Streetsville section of Mississauga, the implication was also that Cody and Reitman googled up a map of Mississauga when they decided to write a screenplay roasting the poor ol’ Gardevil in order to choose a suitably female Christian name for Mavis to link to Gary that would confirm her link to him and to his Mississauga digs. Indeed, when Mavis visited Beth, Buddy and their baby daughter for the first time in Mercury, they even had Gary wistfully talk about Buddy and her going ‘…thrifting all the time’-that is to say, shopping at thrift stores-when they were dating as teenagers, openly linking Gary to the Salvation Army Thrift store located not far from his apartment-and, curiously, even a Thrift Avenue Gardevil once lived on in White Rock, BC-to confirm her link to Wright. The fact that Gary and Slade were both linked to the NHL by signs near the front door when each character walked individually into Champion O’Malleys chain pub-an Irish pub that evoked Grace O’Malleys, located just up the street from TIFF at the corner of Ed Mirvish Way and Pearl-for their first ‘Mercury High reunion’-the NHL logo on the sinister left of Gary, an NHL cardboard cutout hockey player on Slade’s good right-not only reiterated Gary’s link to Canada, but also linked Slade to Canada in a way that suggested that he too symbolized a Canadian citizen-probably Reitman, as he was born in Montreal. The red, white, red, white and red colour combination of the Mini that Gary drove from the mini-Apple to Mercury implicitly reaffirmed Gary’s Canadian links, as the colour combination was the same as that of the Maple Leaf flag of Canada. Of course, the English manufacturers of the Mini also reminded us of Canada’s famous sentimental affection for England and its monarchy, whose sovereign was still guaranteed by Canada’s heaven sent Constitution of 1982 to be the true ruler of Canada to this day, centuries after the United States won its freedom from the UK in the American Revolution. Gary’s ironic preference for eating Kentucky Fried Chicken fare at the Kentaco Hut that she initially mocked when she arrived in Mercury but then fell prey to also reaffirmed her implicit links to Canada, for the red and white colours associated with the KFC again evoked the Maple Leaf flag of Canada and her Maple Leaf Mini.
Gary’s tragicomic obsession with Hard Jack cider and the Mos Eisley Special Reserve ‘Star Wars juice’-aka aged bourbon-made in the garage still of the chubby, avuncular, sad eyed, knowing and Lucas linked Mercury geek, Matt Freehauf-played by Patton Oswalt-also implicitly evoked Wright’s equally tragicomic obsession with the lives and film art of John ‘Jack’ Landis and Lucas, obsessions on open display on his Zone Wars website, www.zonewarsonfilm.com. The fact that Gary preferred drinking Hard Jacks in Woody’s, a dark and cave-like independent bar in Mercury, rather than in the new bright and airy chain pub Champion O’Malley’s, also reiterated Gary’s link to the film art and TZ disaster obsessed Gardevil. For Woody’s evoked the life and film art of Woody Allen-a prominent director in the dread Zone Wars-and also evoked Woody Harrelson’s character Woody Boyd on the NBC television show CHEERS, a television show that linked the film to the twilit and disastrous year of 1982 as CHEERS arrived on television on September 30, 1982, a little over two months after the TZ disaster, no doubt with a mission to soothe people troubled by the disaster. Gary’s father, David Gary-played by Richard Bekins-reiterated Gary’s implicit link to Canada, Canadian film art and Canadian film artists, as he looked, dressed, talked and acted like David Cronenberg. Gary’s mother also reaffirmed her implicit link, as Jill Eikenberry’s Hedda Gary evoked Canadian actress Jayne Eastwood. Dolce, the Pomeranian of Gary, also linked her to film, as the dimunitive and implicitly Toto-linked dog’s name evoked Federico Fellini’s allegorical film, LA DOLCE VITA (1960)-and also evoked Wright’s flippant assertion on an early version of his Zone Wars website that he was ‘…a fifth dimensional being who manifested in this dimension as an unusually discerning and knowing Shi Tzu.’ Clearly, Cody and Reitman-who looked like Beth and Buddy, implying that they symbolized Cody and Reitman-hoped that I would just grow up, stop complaining about TIFF film lists and Zone War film art, and just get a life, as seen by the cancellation of Gary’s Waverley Prep young adult series, her failure to woo Buddy to her cause, and her decision to give up on Buddy and drive her now battered from a drunken crash, Maple Leaf flag coloured and small minded Mini back to the Mississauga linked mini-Apple of Minneapolis and start anew, in the end.
Significantly, this was the response of Wright in an earlier manifestation of this essay:
Well, touche. Write nasty letters and essays, get a nasty response. Enjoy your oh so withering and satirical in-joke. As for me, I was surprised, amused, flattered and reassured that someone was actually reading my letters and Zone War essays and was moved enough by what they were reading to reply in such an unusual, but somehow fitting, cinematic way, evoking the implicit roasting that film reviewers Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel received in the form of the dreaded two-headed monster, the Siskebert, and that Pauline Kael received in the form of the cruel and merciless General Kael, in the allegorical Lucas executive produced and Ron Howard film, WILLOW (1988). Thanks also for proving my thesis that films are allegorical, and giving me an obvious example that I can use to defend my thesis. In fact, thanks for proving that even films that are not scripted by the director are allegorical, implying that screenwriters carefully follow the allegorical messages in films and tailor the allegorical messages in their screenplays to suit the responses of directors, so as to increase the likelihood that a director would option their screenplay and transform it into a film. And in my defense, snubbing Canadian film art and filmmakers at the opening of the most significant shrine to film art in Canada was worth ranting about. Or, as my symbolic ‘twin sister’ Mavis-Gary Wright would embitteredly, furiously and sarcastically note, ‘…God! Excuuuuuse me for living with my eyes, ears, heart, mind and soul wide open instead of wide shut like the rest of the huvine herd-as Stanley Kubrick sarcastically noted in the title of his last twilit and allegorical film, EYES WIDE SHUT (1999), and actually noticing and understanding the allegorical nature and meaning of film art-particularly of the Zone War era-and the failure of TIFF to acknowledge the quality and importance of allegorical Canadian film art in their hated One Hundred Essential Films list.
And for thinking that the allegorical Zone Wars and some of the issues that it raised-particularly the constant implication of wrongdoing seen in all of the post-1982 allegorical film art of Spielberg-were serious enough for me to write about and share that knowledge with the world on the internet via my website. At least I have the courage to do it openly, instead of rushing for the hills with my tail between my legs and launching oh so subtle and mysterious allegorical cinematic pot shots like you have so implicitly done in YOUNG ADULT. In fact, if you had any guts and class, you would simply have sent a letter or email to me explaining and defending the reasons for your infernal One Hundred Essential Films list, reasons that I may have accepted, ending any flamewar before it started. And what about that shot of Gary on her balcony at her apartment in Minneapolis in the beginning of the film, a shot that looked not only like me on my balcony, but like it was taken from space via satellite cam, implying that you spied on me on my balcony from satellite cam before making the film-talk about creepy! And that noticeable resemblance of Oswalt’s Freehaus to a friend in Streetsville I had at the time, implying that you had my friend and I tailed by a private detective-talk about twice as creepy!! Who was the real pestilent pest who refused to grow up in this situation?’
But, lucky for Cody and Reitman, I am not a diehard mean girl and ‘…psychotic Prom Queen bitch’, and I was strangely flattered and pleased to be roasted in YOUNG ADULT. Particularly since you proved my thesis, and also since Gary at least had the courage to aspire to something more in her life, escape Mercury and its huvine inhabitants, and go off and try to be her own free and independent literary artist-noticeably writing openly allegorical novels, proving my thesis that film art is allegorical yet again. If I was truly mean, I would probably strike back by writing an equally tragicomic, nasty and allegorical story that would liken you two and your perennial efforts to pitch and sell your ideas to studios in order to get the money to make your allegorical films to the efforts of two L.A. area Latina prostitutes-Jacinta and Angela-and their perennial efforts to sell themselves to male customers on their favourite L.A. intersection of Hollywood and Sunset in order to get the money to live their lives.
Luckily for the poor ol’ Gardevil, however, YOUNG ADULT set off a small allegorical flame war on film hidden amidst the greater carnage of the dread Zone Wars, which spared him the trouble of responding to YOUNG ADULT, starting with the allegorical Barry Sonnenfeld film, MEN IN BLACK 3 (2012).
‘This is my new favourite moment in human history.’
For Agents J and K-played by Will Smith and Josh Brolin as the younger K and Tommy Lee Jones as the older K, respectively-battled a nasty alien baddie named Boris the Animal-played by Jemaine Clement-who looked, talked, dressed and acted like the long lost extraterrestrial twin brother of Wright’s Library Technician colleague, Brian the Gillam. Luckily for Agents J and K, they were able to defeat Boris by teaming up with the alien that Boris was on Earth to kill, Griffin the Arcanan-played by Michael Stuhlberg-who looked, talked, dressed and acted like Wright’s long lost extraterrestrial twin brother. The implication was that Sonnenfeld, as an accomplished allegorical film artist, knew something was up with YOUNG ADULT. So he got in touch with Reitman or someone in the know on the YOUNG ADULT set, found out it was about Wright, and got a hold of some of the security cam pics of Wright with Gillam at the 2010 TIFF with the eager help of the CIA and CSIS. Security pix that implicitly helped him decide that the real life Odd Couple were such an unusual and unlikely pair that he could not resist roasting B and G in the form of B and G, causing him to do exactly that in MEN IN BLACK 3. Curiously, with supporting characters who resembled Bailey, Handling, James Cameron, Bonnie Crombie, Jayne Eastwood, Richard Florida and Rob Ford, Neal Jordan also implied that he was roasting GTA film artists and ‘scholars’ in his twilit and allegorical film, BYZANTIUM (2012). A horrific implication that perhaps inspired Kimberly Peirce to join the mayhem the following year and implicitly roast Cody and Reitman with more righteous fury in her allegorical film, CARRIE (2013).
‘I believe there is a video of the incident…’
For Chloe G. Moretz’ Gary Wright evoking, high school library frequenting and book reading Carrie White fittingly faced down and destroyed two Cody and Reitman linked mean teens and fellow high school students in the form of Chris Hargensen and Billy Nolan-played by Portia Doubleday and Alex Russell, respectively-for making a nasty digital video of her and posting it on the internet at the righteously and telekinetically furious end of the film, making it implicitly clear what Peirce thought of Cody and Reitman and the film they had implicitly made of the Gardevil. Indeed, the inclusion of the Jason Reitman evoking name of Frieda Jason as one of the Prom Queen choices on the prom ballot at the end of the film-a choice for Prom Queen that evoked Cody and Reitman referring to Mavis, and, implicitly, Wright, as a ‘…psychotic Prom Queen bitch’ in YOUNG ADULT-implicitly confirmed Peirce’s interest in roasting Reitman and Cody in CARRIE. And the pre-digital era of film, for it was noticeable that after wiping out Chris and Psycho Billy and the rest of her graduation class, Carrie then proceeded to kill her mother-played by Julianne Moore-a woman who openly symbolized the pre-digital age as the insanely devout woman refused to have anything to do with computers throughout the film. Thus, given that Peirce was implicitly rushing to Wright’s defense, it was fitting that while CARRIE was mostly filmed in Toronto, the exteriors of Carrie White’s home were filmed in Mississauga in an open and unabashed link to the poor ol’ Gardevil. Interestingly, Sofia Coppola’s decision to include a troubled teen girl named Chloe-played by Claire Julien-who looked like a teenaged version of Theron’s Mavis Gary in her allegorical film, THE BLING RING (2013), also implied that Coppola was replying to YOUNG ADULT in 2013.
‘My dad works for a film distribution company.’
Indeed, Chloe’s name evoked Atom Egoyan’s allegorical film, CHLOE (2009), about a Toronto escort, confirming Coppola’s interest in Toronto area film artists and ‘scholars’. The sound of the Deadmaus tune ‘FML’ on the soundtrack implicitly reaffirmed that interest in Toronto. Thus, Chloe’s participation in a L.A. area teenaged ‘Bling Ring’ break-and-enter gang that targeted wealthy film stars implicitly linked the gang to Toronto film artists, implying that its two teen leaders, Marc and Rebecca-played by Israel Broussard and Katie Chang, respectively-symbolized Reitman and Cody like Psycho Billy and Chris did in CARRIE. Curiously, that same year that saw the release of THE BLING RING, Coppola’s cousin, Nicolas Cage, returned to the big screen in the allegorical David G. Green film, JOE (2013), another memorable role that implicitly affirmed the sudden allegorical interest in the ‘scholarship’ of the poor ol’ Gardevil.
‘I do what I gotta do.’
For soon after JOE began, the eponymous Joe-played by Cage-was seen and heard struggling to remember the name of a strange kid named Gary Jones-played by Tye Sheridan-who had wandered out of nowhere like the Gardevil, and who Joe had hired to work with his illicit team of tree poisoners-a team implicitly linked to famous Zone War film artists and their poisonous Zone Wars films, as the different poisoners looked like such directors as Lucas, Spielberg, Francis Coppola and Spike Lee. Unable to remember the weird kid’s name, Joe asked, rhetorically, ‘…and…Gary, right’?-which sounded like, ‘…and Gary Wright?’-just before he paid him at the end of weird Gary’s first work day. Green implicitly underlined the link to the poor ol’ Gardevil and my fanctum sanctorum base in the GTA by having Gary’s father, Wade-fittingly played by Gary Poulter-look like an older and beat up Norman Jewison, still perhaps Canada’s most famous film artist. As JOE emerged two years after the release of YOUNG ADULT, and Gary and Joe united to defeat a scarfaced evildoer named Willie-Russell-played by Ronnie Gene Blevins-the implication was that Green was using the film to allegorically defeat Reitman, in the end. But that was not the final Coppola word on Gardevil’s site, his feud with Reitman or on Gardevil itself in 2013, as Gia Coppola implied that she was also addressing three issues in her allegorical film, PALO ALTO (2013).
‘I think all movies and tv shows and videogames these days are just pointless.’
Indeed, it was noticeable that the argumentative and acrimonious relationship that Jack Kilmer’s sensitive and artistic Teddy had with Nat Wolff’s Reitman implicitly linked Fred evoked Wright’s own argumentative and acrimonious relationship with Reitman. Teddy’s link to the poor ol’ Gardevil was implicitly affirmed by his community service in a children’s library, which evoked Gardevil’s own work as a Library Technician at Streetsville Secondary School in Mississauga, ON. Thus, the sight of Teddy leaving behind the library for a job teaching art to seniors at a retirement home, literally walking away from Fred in the end and leaving him to his perhaps suicidal destiny and finally turning to the shy, sensitive and implicitly art linked April-played by Emma Roberts-implied that the latest Coppola was urging Gardevil to drop his pointless feuding with Reitman, turn to art, write a real book, finally leave the library gig behind and stop being an irritating dipshit. Good advice, and we can only hope that the poor ol’ Gardevil can accomplish it one day.
Curiously, the film also brought another four into Gardevil’s life, as PALO ALTO saw the appearance of Gia’s nephew, Bailey Coppola, as Seth, making for four Coppolas involved in films about Gardevil’s site and itself in 2013-a fours full Force strengthened by the fact that PALO ALTO often alluded to Coppola’s allegorical short film, LICK THE STAR (1998), implying that Gia was also using the film to address her aunt, Sofia. Actually, a Fifth Elemental Coppola Force was present in 2013, as Film Master Francis Coppola was also heard in a wry voiceover as a judge pronouncing a sentence on Teddy and consigning him to children’s library duty for being the driver that caused a hit and run accident at one point in PALO ALTO. Fifth Elemental Force that had absolutely nothing to do with Bill Condon’s implicitly Gardevil addressing allegorical film, THE FIFTH ESTATE (2013).
‘Courage is contagious?’
Indeed, given the year of its release, and its focus on revealing ‘secrets’ on the internet, the implication was that the Wikileaks ‘revelations’ of Benedict Bandersnatch’s Julian ‘Caesar’ Assange symbolized the www.zonewarsonfilm.com ‘revelations’ of the Gardevil. Dire implications that returned in the allegorical Robert Schwentke film, R.I.P.D. (2013).
‘You’re right. I hate it when you’re right.’
For murdered Boston Police Department detective and ghostly Rest In Peace Department detective Nick-played by Ryan Reynolds-was implicitly linked to the Gardevil throughout the film, turning Nick’s desperate Quest to avenge his murder from beyond the grave into another desperately implicit Quest to reveal the truth about the dread allegorical Zone Wars. The fact that Schwentke chose streets in Boston that evoked Toronto affirmed the implicit Gardevil addressing intent of R.I.P.D. Implicit Gardevil intentions that returned in the allegorical Terry Gilliam film, THE ZERO THEOREM (2013).
‘My name is Leth.’
Indeed, the madcap and tragicomic quest-evoking the equally madcap and tragicomic quest of the ‘Knights’ of the Round Table to find the Holy Grail in the allegorical and implicitly New Hollywood roasting Gilliam and Terry Jones film, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)-of Christoph Waltz‘s Leth to find the answer to the all important Zero Theorem-always referred to as the ZT-was implicitly linked throughout THE ZERO THEOREM to Wright’s equally madcap and tragicomic quest to decipher all of the allegorical fiction and film art of the dread Zone Wars so as to finally understand and reveal the truth about the TZ disaster. The fact that the name of Mr. Leth mockingly evoked the name of Mr. Wright, and that the sight of the bald Leth spending long hours in front of his computer in his lonely building frantically trying to solve the ZT evoked the sight of the equally bald Wright spending long hours at his computer in his lonely apartment frantically trying to solve the TZ implicitly affirmed the allegorical intent of the inimitable and irrepressible Gilliam. An implicit English interest in the poor ol’ Gardevil also implied that year in the allegorical Wright film, THE WORLD’S END (2013).
‘Please leave, Gary.’
For the film revolved around a middle aged character named Gary King-played by Simon Pegg-whose first name evoked Gary Wright, and whose surname evoked the King Street address of TIFF in Toronto. Surprisingly, his obsession with his teen years throughout the film evoked the obsession with the twilit and disastrous events of the teen years of the poor ol’ Gardevil, implying that this was the second film in the Gardevil Trilogy from the eerily surnamed Wright. Even Sir Ridley Scott implied that he was in a garish mood in 2013 in his allegorical film, THE COUNSELOR (2013).
‘We announce to the darkness that we will not be diminished by the gravity of ourselves.’
Indeed, Sir Scott implied that the tragicomic tale of the naïve lawyer-Michael Fassbender’s eponymous Counselor-whose life was destroyed and whose beautiful wife, the implicitly L.A. film art linked, Laura-played by Penelope Cruz-murdered after he foolishly infuriated duplicitous and greedy Colombian drug dealers and the malignant Malkina-the film’s symbolic Wicked Witch of the West who was literally linked to the Dark Side of film, as her name could mean ‘bad kino’ or ‘bad cinema’, and played by Cameron Diaz-was his allegorical way of telling the poor ol’ Gardevil that he was also foolish and naïve to irritate equally duplicitous and greedy Hollywood and the malignant TIFF. Indeed, the black SUVs that Malkina’s thugs carry out their dirty deeds in evoked the black SUVs seen carrying around film artists and star each at TIFF, affirming Malkina’s implicit link to TIFF. Curiously, Sir Scott also implied his fear that Wright’s ‘revelations’ would destroy film art and artists, just as the naivety of the Counselor destroyed such implicitly David Cronenberg, David Lynch and Bruce McDonald linked characters as Reiner, Jamie and Westray-played by Javier Bardem, Sam Spruell and Brad Pitt, respectively-over the course of the film. A brutal and ugly allegorical warning, indeed. Intriguingly, there was also a strong implication that John Fawcett and Graeme Manson were taking on the irascible Gardevil in their allegorical telefilm series, ORPHAN BLACK (2013-17).
‘I got refund.’
For after rucking with the minds of audiences and refusing to reveal itself over the course of the first season of the Toronto filmed series, ORPHAN BLACK revealed its dread Zone War colours early into season two with two characters who evoked Kennedy and Marshall. Three characters who arrived in season four reaffirmed that implicit Zone War intent, for the Messenger, Detective Martin Duko and Adele-played by Geza Kovacs, Gord Rand and Lauren Hammersley, respectively-evoked Kathryn Bigelow, Kubrick and Landis. The fact that ORPHAN BLACK was partly set in the quirky Toronto suburb of Bailey Downs also reaffirmed the implicit Zone War intent of the series, for Bailey Downs was as implicitly linked to Hollywood in the telefilm series as it was when it first appeared in the allegorical and implicitly Sofia Coppola addressing Fawcett film, GINGER SNAPS (2000). As the only multifaceted person in the GTA with an obsession with the twilit and disastrous actions of Kennedy, Landis and Marshall and Zone War film artists like Bigelow and Kubrick who implicitly contributed film art to the Zone Wars was Wright, the implication was that the multifaceted character whose different aspects were implicitly symbolized by multiple clones of the same person was a nod to Gardevil’s own various guises as Library Technician, innovative film art ‘scholar’, internet outlaw and real life superhero, aspects of itself easily seen on his website, www.zonewarsonfilm.com.
The fact that one of those manifestations was Sarah Manning-played by Tatiana Maslany, who also played all the other multifaceted ‘clones’-affirmed that implication. For her first name Sarah evoked Gary-indeed, made her a Gar evoking Sar. In addition, her British accent and surname reminded us that while born in North York, Gardevil was raised in Delta, British Columbia, from which he visited Manning Provincial Park several times. Natalie Lisinska’s Aynsley Norris reaffirmed that link to beautiful B.C., evoking legendary VANCOUVER SUN political cartoonist Len Norris, whose complete oeuvre can be found on a website maintained by Simon Fraser University. The implicit interest of ORPHAN BLACK in Gardevil increased dramatically when the production turned up in Streetsville ten minutes into the sixth episode of season two, the allegorical Brett Sullivan telefilm, ‘To Hound Nature In Her Wanderings’ (2014), at the corner of Barry and Queen Streets, nestled between the Streetsville BIA on the left and the Streetsville United Church on the right, only two and a half blocks from Wright’s fanctum sanctorum apartment in a building on run of the Mill Street in Mississauga. A bizarre and multifaceted reality that was perfect timing for the arrival of the world’s foremost omnisexual film artist, Master Cronenberg, when he returned and, like Peirce, also implicitly came to Gardevil’s defense in his indomitably inconoclastic way in his allegorical film, MAPS TO THE STARS (2014).
‘I love Carrie…and I know Garry!’
Significantly, and no doubt due to the fact that the telekinetic Carrie White-her extrasensory powers linked to Wright’s powers of allegorical insight-evoked the highly evolved and ESP using ominsexuals found in such allegorical Cronenberg films as STEREO (1969), SCANNERS (1980) and M. BUTTERFLY (1993), the fact that his longtime Production Designer, Carol Spier, worked on CARRIE, and the fact that CARRIE evoked Cronenberg’s own Stephen King inspired allegorical first salvo in the Zone Wars, THE DEAD ZONE (1983), Master Cronenberg implicitly concurred with Peirce, underlining his agreement by focusing MAPS TO THE STARS on the Weiss family, as Weiss was German for White, linking the White family to the Weiss family. The fact that Master Cronenberg also moved the location of the film from the symbolic L.A. of CARRIE to the real L.A. of MAPS TO THE STARS reaffirmed that MAPS TO THE STARS was about film art and film artists. Thus, the sight of another troubled but persistent and clue solving teen girl, Mia Wasikowska’s Agatha Weiss-her name having the same syllable cadence as Kimberly Peirce, and openly obsessed with film art and artists-haunting and destroying her incestuous parents, Cristina and Dr. Stafford Weiss-a surname that evoked Reitman and Wright as much as White, and played by Olivia Williams and John Cusack, respectively-equated with the destruction of Chris and Psycho Billy by Carrie, and, hence, the symbolic destruction of Cody and Reitman by Gary, in the end.
The return of Moore as the haunted and tormented Hollywood star Havana Segrand confirmed this implication, for Moore had played Carrie’s mother, Margaret White, in CARRIE. Indeed, Segrand openly linked MAPS OF THE STARS to CARRIE, as she was seen and heard in a restaurant talking on a cell phone at one point about a person named Gary-American director and producer Garry Marshall, in this case. Soon after, she called out to Carrie-that is to say, Carrie Fisher, playing herself-linking Gary to Carrie in a way that implicitly affirmed that Cronenberg was replying to Peirce in the film. Curiously, Moore’s dual appearance caused her to symbolically die twice at the hands of a symbolic Wright, as Margaret and Havana were killed by Carrie and Agatha, in the end. Significantly, as Weiss killed Segrand by bashing her head in with Cronenberg’s own Genie award, the implication was that Segrand symbolized Cronenberg. Thus, the murder of Segrand by Agatha, the troubled teen detective with the Agatha Christie evoking name, implicitly symbolized Cronenberg’s fear that the essay Wright had written on his art and posted on www.zonewarsonfilm.com would kill his career-or was that just kill the mystery of his film art?
Curiously, Reitman also implicitly roasted Wright in the form of obsessive and suicidal teenaged Guild Wars video game player, Tim Mooney-played by Ansel Elgort-in the allegorical film, MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN (2014). Making it a welcome relief that Lucky Luc Besson implicitly roasted Sir Scott and THE COUNSELOR and came to Wright’s rescue with the allegorical and Ozian themed film, LUCY (2014).
‘Thank you for sharing.’
Indeed, the many allusions to THE COUNSELOR throughout LUCY affirmed the implication that the triumph of Scarlett Johansson’s eponymous and implicitly Dorothy linked and Carrie and Mavis evoking Lucy with the help of the human evolution accelerating drug, CPH4, and CGI enhanced extrasensory powers over Choi Min-Sik’s Wicked Taipei CPH4 dealer, Mr. Jang, and his ‘Jangalore’ gang symbolized the triumph of the allegorically insightful Gardevil and a new era of enlightened and CGI enhanced film art over Sir Scott and his cynical and ugly ‘film’ of 2013. This implication was reaffirmed by the implicit link of Taipei to Toronto, the implicit link of Richard-played by Pilou Asbaek-to both the Wicked Witch of the East and McDonald, and of Lucy’s mentor Doctor Samuel Norman-Morgan Freeman-to both the Great Oz and Cronenberg. Lucy’s links to Carrie and the fact that Lucy’s CGI enhanced ESP triumph over Mr. Jang and his Jangalores in the end evoked Carrie’s CGI enhanced ESP wrath at the end of CARRIE reaffirmed the implicit Gardevil addressing intent of LUCY. And wouldn’t it be great if the new, improved and CGI enhanced Godzilla, symbolized Gardevil as well, given that the righteously furious and electro-fire breathing dragosaur took on and took out two huge, nasty and gremlin-like critters who evoked Kennedy and Marshall, given that one was female and one was male, in the Temple Theatre exorcising and allegorical Gareth Edwards film, GODZILLA (2014)? To support that possibility, it was noticeable that GODZILLA was the first Gojira film created not only in Canada, but in the Greater Vancouver Area, the old stomping grounds of Garzilla-oh no, the Zone Wars have got to go, go go Garzirra! A link to the old stomping grounds of Garjira that returned when Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg also implicitly came to Gardevil’s rescue that year, openly alluding to YOUNG ADULT and implicitly likening Randall Park’s tragicomic North Korean President Kim Jong-un, with his Reitman style front hair part, to Reitman in their hilarious and fear dissolving allegorical film, THE INTERVIEW (2014).
‘In two years, I come out with my unexpected tell-all.’
Indeed, the Hardy and Laurel duo of Rogen’s Aaron Rapaport and James Franco’s Dave Skylark and their tragicomic mission to assassinate North Korean dictator Jas-un in North Korea-albeit clearly filmed in the Greater Vancouver Area where Gardevil grew up, as some of the locations were clearly set in the GVA, particularly Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, BC-confirmed that they were blasting Reitman in THE INTERVIEW. Indeed, Jong-un’s revelations that he was worried that people thought that he had got his job not from intelligence or ability, but simply because his of his father, reminded us that Reitman got his foot in the film industry door as much from the fact that his father was Ivan Reitman as from his own ability. Thus, the blowing up of Jong-un at the end of the film with a shell fired by Rapaport and Skylark from a tank was as much a furious roast of Reitman’s free ride into the industry from two outsiders who had had to work hard to break in, as it was a symbolic sign of support for Wright and his site. Implicit support for the poor ol’ Gardevil that also appeared that year in the allegorical Morten Tyldum film, THE IMITATION GAME (2014).
‘Not secret. That’s the brilliant part. Messages that anyone can see but no one knows what they mean, unless you have the key.’
For the desperate effort of Pumpkinpatch’s brilliant, eccentric and solitary codebreaker Alan Turing to crack the German Enigma code at his base in Bletchley Park, England in order to help the Allies win World War II evoked the equally desperate effort of the equally brilliant, eccentric and solitary allegorical codebreaker Gardevil to crack the allegorical code of the fiction and film art of the dread Zone Wars at his base in Streetsville, Ontario in order to help the citizens of the United Nations of Earth to win the Zone Wars, bring harmony to the Temple Theatre, and liberate Chen, Le and Morrow from the Twilight Zone…forever. Forever we say! Too bad Turing was actually implicitly linked to Tim Burton. But an intrepid and implicitly Gardevil linked Manchester police detective named Nock-played by Rory Kinnear-did appear, striving to figure out the truth about Turing in a way that evoked Gardevil’s Burton essay. As Turing committed suicide a year after nosey Nock outted him as a homosexual, the implication was that Tyldum did not like Gardevil’s Burton essay. However, while the hoary old Gardevil was implicitly not the subject of THE IMITATION GAME, garish implications returned in the allegorical Tyler Shields film, FINAL GIRL (2014).
‘Do you want to play a game?’
For the sight of Wes Bentley’s creepy William training Abigail Breslin’s stereotypically young, beautiful and curvaceous Hollywood blonde, Veronica, to terminate four Evildoers implicitly linked to Landis, Marshall, Morrow and Spielberg and cursed with a sick penchant for killing stereotypically young, beautiful and curvaceous Hollywood blondes in the weird and watchful woods of the Greater Vancouver Area of beautiful British Columbia reminded us that begun in the GVA did the righteously furious odyssey that led to the even more creepy Gary William addressing Landis, Marshall, Morrow and Spielberg in his book on Lucas and the Zonebuster essays. How appropriate that Shields quoted from the allegorical John Badham film, WAR GAMES (1983), as the film is one of the favourite films of Gardevil. Gardevillicious ntimations that returned in the allegorical, uber full throttle, hyper-cyber and time trippin’ Alan Taylor film, TERMINATOR GENISYS (2015).
‘So you’re remembering the future?’
Indeed, the poor ol’ Gardevil appeared to be linked to the earnest future time traveler, Kyle Reese-played by Jai Courtney-on another desperate and embattled mission to save Sarah Connor-played by Emilia Clarke-and destroy the blockbuster machine before the global A.I. defense system destroyed Earth and the art of CGI enhanced film. Or was that actually the unusually Evil John Connor-played by Jason Clarke-who was linked to Wright, in another exasperated roast of the Gardevil? Only Pops-played by Arnold Schwarzenegger-knew, and he did not reveal the truth. At any rate, a sympathetic but guardedly supportive interest in the Gardevil returned in Michael Cuesta’s ominous allegorical film, KILL THE MESSENGER (2015).
‘Gary, you get some sources on the record, we’ll see where we’re at.’
Yeah, rock you, too, Senor Cuesta. For the mysterious death in his lonely apartment of Jeremy Renner’s intrepid San Jose Mercury News reporter Gary Webb after trying to reveal the truth about the cocaine sales that the CIA used to finance its support of the Contras in Nicaragua in the Eighties was clearly warning me that something could happen to Wright in his lonely apartment one night if he was not more careful about his intrepid quest to reveal the truth about the TZ disaster. Indeed, Gary Webb was implicitly linked to Gary Wright throughout the film, affirming the implicit intent of KILL THE MESSENGER. However, at least would not have any problem convincing a courtroom that his allegorical interpretations were right, unlike Webb, who was not believed as no source would go on record in support of him. For all of the support the Gardevil needed was in the allegorical fiction and film art he was interpreting, a gentle reminder that truth trumps all that was reaffirmed when Tom McCarthy implicitly took up the Gardevil cause in his allegorical film, SPOTLIGHT (2015).
‘This is bullshit!’
For Stanley Tucci’s intrepid, irascible, quirky, solitary and Gardevil evoking lawyer Mitch Garabedian was able to use evidence that supported the truth that dozens of pedophilic Catholic priests were preying on children in Boston to successfully defend that claim in a court of law and evade imprisonment, implying the confidence that Wright would do the same if he was ever requested to defend his ‘scholarship’ in a courtroom. An implicit interest in the poor ol’ Gardevil that returned when Jocelyn Moorhouse curiously fused the twilit and allegorical Tim Burton film, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (1990), with the allegorical Sergio Leone film, ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA (1968), in her fine film, THE DRESSMAKER (2015).
‘He had a right.’
For the sight of Kate Winslet’s haunted and despondent quick draw dressmaker and hair stylist, Myrtle ‘Tilly’ Dunnage, transforming the plain woman of the small Australian town of Dungatar into glamorous movie stars with unique and individually tailored dresses and hair styles in a way that evoked Johnny Depp’s equally talented, original and haunted Edward Scissorhands while she tried to solve and resolve the mysterious death of one implicitly young Reitman or Spielberg linked Stewart Pettyman-played by Rory Potter-that haunted both her and the town evoked the equally haunted and despondent Gardevil transforming film artists with unique and individually tailored chapters and essays while trying to solve and resolve the mysterious deaths of Chen, Le and Morrow that haunted him and Hollywood. Indeed, Dunnage’s nickname, Tilly, evoked the Ontario based Tilly international adventure clothing creators, perhaps still best known for their signature Tilly hat, implicitly affirming the antipodean film’s interest in Canadian characters based in Ontario. In addition, the presence of Sarah Snook as the stunningly transformed shopgirl, Getrude Pratt, affirmed the film’s implicit interest in the machinations of Spielberg and the twilit and disastrous year of 1982, as Gert/Trudy’s name evoked that of Drew Barrymore’s Gertie in the infamously allegorical Spielberg filmmercial, E.T., THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL (1982).
A moving and amazing film that reminded us that it was intelligent and imaginative screenplays and talented actors and actresses that were inspired by those excellent screenplays to rise up to the artistic challenge with the help of insightful and seasoned directors and producers and cinematographers and costume and hair designers and set builders and sound and light designers and stunt people and composers and editors that was always the best way to defeat the TZ disaster blues and reignite the commitment of audiences to film art and the Temple Theatre. Following in a long line of low budget, fearless, innovative and in your face Aussie cinematic roasts stretching back to before the TZ disaster with the allegorical George Miller film, MAD MAX (1979), I recky. ‘S’truth! A commitment to the truth in life and in the fiction and film art of the dread allegorical Zone Wars that was implicitly reaffirmed when Gilles Paquet-Brenner went off in a surprising direction in his allegorical film, DARK PLACES (2015).
‘There was something about your brother that was not right for the outside world.’
Curiously, with a trio of murders from 1985 haunting the film like the TZ trio, allusions to CARRIE, and the return of Moretz, Sheridan-who played weird Gar in JOE-and Theron, DARK PLACES was a regular Garapalooza. This implied that the attempt of Theron’s troubled and implicitly Dorothy linked Kinnakee, Kansas girl Libby Day to solve the three murders that swept through her family’s Kinnakee farmhouse like a tornado back in ‘85 symbolized Wright’s own tragicomic attempt to the solve the mystery of the deaths of Chen, Le and Morrow. Indeed, Day looked, talked, acted and dressed like Mavis Gary in her more depressed moments when she was seen wandering around Mercury in a hoodie and baggy jeans in YOUNG ADULT and like Wright in everyday life, linking her to Gary and Wright. In addition, the film’s many allusions to the eerily prescient, twilit and allegorical Sir Scott film, BLADE RUNNER (1982)-particularly the voiceover of Day, which evoked the voiceover of Harrsion Ford’s replicant hunter Rick Deckard in BLADE RUNNER-affirmed the film’s implicit interest in the twilit and disastrous events of the summer of ’82. In the end, Day eventually recalled the identity of the true murderer, allowing her brother, Ben-played by Corey Stoll-to finally be freed from wrongful imprisonment for the murders.
Significantly, as Ben looked like Wright, Paquet-Brenner perhaps implied his hope that Wright would be finally freed from his obsession with the TZ disaster, and go on to live a life, at last. Or did Paquet-Brenner imply his hope that young Reitman and Wright would stop their feud and kiss and make up, given that the teenage Ben-played by Sheridan-resembled Reitman, and that the release of Ben led to a teary hugs and kisses reconciliation between Ben and Libby? Food for thought, indeed. At any rate, an implicit interest in the poor ol’ Gardevil returned in the allegorical telefilm series, SUPERGIRL (2015-).
‘Hey, I just wanta say ‘thank you’ for pushing me to do the right thing.’
For from a distance Melissa Benoist’s Kara Zor-El ‘Supergirl’ Danvers, appeared to symbolize Toronto based film artist Sarah Polley. Indeed, both women were Caucasian with similar heights, builds and hair. Like Sarah, whose mother, Diane, hid the adulterous relationship that led to her birth and the identity of her father a secret, Kara’s Kryptonian identity was hidden from the world by her adoptive Danvers family. However, when regarded more closely, it was noticeable that the differences between Kara and Sarah outweighed the similarities. For unlike Sarah, Kara always knew the identity of her real Kryptonian father and mother, Zor-El and Alura-played by Robert Gant and Laura Benanti, respectively. In addition, when she escaped doomed Krypton and travelled through space to Earth as a girl-played by Malina Weissman-Kara Zor-El spent twenty-four years trapped in the Phantom Zone before she was finally able to reach Earth to watch over her cousin, Kal-El, and reveal her super presence. This time spent in the Phantom Zone reminded us that Gardevil spent years in the Twilight Zone brooding over the dread allegorical Zone Wars before finally revealing his presence by broadcasting his ‘insights’ on his website. Indeed, the fact that Kara revealed her presence to the people of National City and the world by preventing National Airlines Flight 237 from crashing into the city openly evoked Gary’s obsession with the twilit and disastrous events of 23/7/82.
Of course, and unlike Polley, an established film art veteran who had directed several films by the time SUPERGIRL hit the small screen in the fall of 2015, Danvers was an inexperienced and naïve neophyte at the superhero game who worked in National City at CatCo. World Wide Media as a mere secretary and personal assistant to the commanding and demanding Catherine ‘Cat’ Grant-played by Calista Flockhart, who had all of the best lines in the series-evoking the equally naïve and inexperienced Wright’s work as a Library and Information Technician at Streetsville Secondary School in Mississauga, ON. Indeed, the sight of Danvers in an orange skirt with a black purse in the allegorical pilot Glen Winter telefilm with the super original name of ‘Pilot’ (2015), evoked the orange and black Tiger colours of Streetsville Secondary School, in another implicit link of Danvers to Wright. Fourthly, CatCo. World Wide Media evoked the Toronto International Film Festival, ironically evoking Gardevil’s tiff with TIFF. Indeed, the exterior of the CatCo. Building in National City evoked the exterior of the TIFF permanent HQ at King and John in the ‘national’ city of Toronto, while the glass doored and walled CatCo. World Wide Media offices inside the building evoked the similarly glass doored TIFF offices inside the TIFF HQ.
In addition, on top of the links of CatCo. World Wide Media to TIFF, there were other implicit links to Ontario in SUPERGIRL that affirmed the implicit intent of the series. For the status of National City as the smaller sibling of Metropolis reminded us that Toronto was the smaller sibling of New York City. Cat’s annoyingly snobby mother, Katherine Grant-played by Joan J. Buck-evoked Karen Kain, head of the Toronto based National Ballet of Canada. The nickname of Kara’s CatCo colleague, Winslow ‘Winn’ Schott-played by Jeremy Jordan-evoked the surname of Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, a premier also evoked by the earrings and glasses of Kara. The resemblance of ace photographer James Olsen-played by Mehcad Brooks-to ex-Toronto Raptors star Vince Carter reaffirmed the implicit link of SUPERGIRL to Toronto. The secret computer control room at CatCo that Winn whipped up to help Danvers out in her super exploits reiterated the link of the series to Ontario in general and Toronto in particular. For the sign on the control room door indicated that the room was the property of one Ed Flaherty, evoking both Joe Flaherty and Martin Short’s Ed Grimley of SCTV fame.
Before CatCo. shock DJ, Leslie Willis, transformed into the electric badass, Livewire-both played by Brit Morgan-Willis resembled Jennifer Keesmaat, Toronto’s Chief Planner at the time, in the allegorical Kevin Tancharoen telefilm, ‘Livewire’ (2015). A road rager-played by Thom Williams-who resembled Streetsville’s Mississauga City Councillor George Carlson in the allegorical Jesse Warn telefilm, ‘Red Faced’ (2015), reaffirmed the implicit interest in a real life superhero in the Streetsville area of Mississauga in SUPERGIRL. The fact that Benoist resembled Miss Alicia Farquhar, the second Teacher-Librarian Wright worked for at the Library Learning Commons at Streetsville Secondary School and the one in charge of the LLC at the time of the development of the series, reaffirmed the implicit interest in Wright in SUPERGIRL. The fact that Grant offered to take Supergirl ‘…to Dr. Shewman for emergency Lexiprobe-that is, if your alien brain will respond to the SSRIs’-in the allegorical Larry Teng telefilm, ‘Falling’ (2016), when an unexpected brush with red Kryptonite caused Kara/Supergirl to give in to their Dark Sides and cause havoc reaffirmed the implicit interest in Wright in SUPERGIRL, for Miss Jayne Shewman was the third Teacher-Librarian he worked for when the series was released in 2015-16.
The implicit links of various characters in the series to Canada also affirmed the implicit interest in a real life Canadian superhero in SUPERGIRL. Indeed, Kara’s recurring Good mother, Alura, and equally recurring Evil twin Aunt, Astra-both played by Benanti-resembled Celine Dion. Supergirl’s first insidious supervillain, Vartox-played by Owain Yeoman-in ‘Pilot’ reiterated her implicit link to Canada, for he had the imposing height of Cameron and a face that evoked both Cameron and Gardevil. Her recurring and regal boss Cat Grant-her C.G. initials fittingly evoking computer graphics, given the importance of CGI to achieve the super believable and realistic exploits of Supergirl-reminded us that Gardevil was the humble servant and savant of Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and Commonwealth, both of which followed her regal exploits so closely she also had her own unofficial worldwide media empire.
The fact that the recurrent, pugilistic, handsome and usually Evil Maxwell ‘Max’ Lord-played by Peter Facinelli-CEO of Lord Technologies, resembled the equally pugilistic, handsome and usually Good current Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, and had a name that evoked that of Maxwell ‘Max’ Ward, CEO of the now vanished Canadian independent airline Ward Air, only reaffirmed the implicit link of SUPERGIRL to Canada. An implicit link reaffirmed by the presence of Colonel James Harper-played by Eddie McClintock-in the allegorical Chris Fisher telefilm, ‘Manhunter’ (2016), as his name evoked Cameron and ex-Prime Minister Stephen Harper. The presence of Laura Vandervoort as the villainous Indigo in the allegorical Dermott Downs telefilm, ‘Solitude’ (2016), also reaffirmed the implicit interest of the series in Canada, evoking the national Chapters/Indigo bookstore chain that was frequented by Gardevil. In fact, it was possible that Indigo symbolized Heather Reisman, CEO of Chapters/Indigo, given that her partner-in-crime, the recurringly villainous Non-played by Chris Vance-evoked Reisman’s husband, Gerald W. ‘Gerry’ Schwartz.
The implicit interest in SUPERGIRL in film artists who figured largely in the allegorical Zone Wars and in the ‘scholarly’ ravings of Wright reaffirmed the implicit interest of the series in the poor ol’ Gardevil. The appearance of Iddo Goldberg as the implicitly Morrow linked Doctor T.O. Morrow aka Red Tornado in ‘Red Faced’, reminded us that if Morrow had not been killed in the TZ disaster with Chen and Le, there would be no dread allegorical Zone Wars. The appearance of Glenn Morshower in the recurring role of the implicitly Lucas linked and Forcefully four starred General Samuel ‘Sam’ Lane reminded us that the decision of Lucas to work with Kennedy, Marshall and Spielberg after the TZ disaster, particularly on the twilit and allegorical film, INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984), was just as instrumental in turning Wright into the solitary and embittered Gardevil as the TZ disaster itself.
The appearance of Henry Czerny as the implicitly Spielberg linked Toyman in the allegorical Jamie Babbit telefilm, ‘Childish Things’ (2015), reminded us that if Spielberg had kept a closer rein on Landis during the filming of his episode of TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE, there would have been no TZ disaster, no dread allegorical Zone Wars, and no brooding and cynical Gardevil. The appearance of Mike Owen as a Denis Villeneuve resembling pizza place robber in ‘Stronger Together affirmed the implicit interest in Canadian Zone War film and telefilm art in SUPERGIRL. The recurring presence of Chyler Leigh’s implicitly Sofia Coppola linked Alexandra ‘Alex’ Danvers, Kara’s older sister from her adoptive human family, as an elite Agent of the Department of External Affairs evoking Department of Extra-Normal Operations-their black SUVs evoking the black SUVs used by TIFF to whisk film artists around Toronto during the annual film festival-reminded us that for some time the essay on Sofia Coppola was the only essay on a female film artist on Gardevil’s website.
In addition, hearing Kara assure Winn in ‘Pilot’ that an internet dating service had proclaimed her 82% compatible with a prospective date openly linked her to the fateful year of 1982. Fluffy, the boa constrictor Supergirl rescued from a tree in the allegorical Winter telefilm, ‘Stronger Together’ (2015), reaffirmed Kara’s link to the fateful year of 1982, for Fluffy was the name cast and crew gave to the nightmarish and implicitly Cowardly Lion linked beast-played by Arnold Backer-in ‘The Crate’ episode of the allegorical and Ozian themed film roasting Stephen King and George Romero film, CREEPSHOW (1982). Last but not least, the recurring presence of Helen Slater as Eliza Danvers, the human mother of Kara, also affirmed the implicit interest of the series in the twilit and disastrous events of the Eighties. For Slater starred as Kara/Supergirl herself, a Super Kara implicitly linked to the film art of Spielberg who triumphed over the insidious and implicitly Kennedy linked sorceress, Selena-played by Faye Dunaway-in the twilit and allegorical Jeannot Szwarc film, SUPERGIRL (1984), one of the first allegorical superhero films of the dread Zone Wars. Thus, with all of these implicit nods to Gardevil, the fan with no cheer, the implication was that Kara symbolized Gary rather than Sarah, and Gary was Kara, and both were united in one as Garadevil, the determinedly and indomitably hermaphroditic Canadian ‘superhero’.
Intriguingly, Gardevil was not the only real life superhero implicitly roasted on SUPERGIRL. For the appearance of Grant Gustin’s Barry ‘the Flash’ Allen in the ironically entitled and allegorical Nick Gomez telefilm, ‘World’s Finest’ (2016), reminded us that the film art career of Richard Kelly had been as quick as a flash, from the allegorical heights of DONNIE DARKO (2001) to the depths of THE BOX (2009). Indeed, the clean cut and baby faced, medium heighted and built, brunette and Caucasian Allen evoked the equally clean cut, baby faced, medium heighted and built, brunette and Caucasian Kelly. The fact that Barry Allen and Richard Kelly both had two two syllable first names, and that their surnames had a pair of ‘l’s’ that ended and began the first and second syllables, reiterated the link between the two heroes. The space/time displacement that brought Allen from his Earth to Kara’s Earth also reaffirmed the link between Allen and Kelly, evoking a similar space/time displacement that drove the narrative of the brilliant twilit and allegorical Kelly film, SOUTHLAND TALES (2006). Curiously, this implicit interest in linking Gardevil to a superhero was implicitly repeated in Tim Miller’s allegorical, CGI enhanced and R.I.P.D. evoking super satirical ‘film’, DEADPOOL (2016).
‘You’re better than this.’
Yes, that was correct, you were not suffering from double vision. Yes, that was correct, you were not suffering from double vision. Miller had Stefan Kapicic’s Colossus actually repeat Buddy Slade’s climatic line to Mavis Gary from the end of YOUNG ADULT to the cancer plagued Wade ‘Deadpool’ Wilson-played by Reynolds-not long into DEADPOOL to implicitly affirm that Deadpool symbolized the Cancer ruled Mavis Gary Wright. The ‘action packed’ climax at a junkyard underneath the Alex Fraser Bridge that linked New Westminster, BC with Wright’s old stomping grounds in the northern part of Delta, BC-indeed, the location was only about a five minute drive away from the house on 87th Avenue that he grew up in in old ND and where the Zone Wars began on July 23, 1982, only weeks after his fifteenth birthday-reaffirmed Deadpool’s implicit link to Gardevil. Last but not least, the acerbic and sarcastic letter from Gary in the letters page of the Seventies themed THE GROOVY DEADPOOL, one of the eight, one dollar and one off ‘True Believers’ movie tie-in issues of Deadpool that were released by Marvel Comics in conjunction with the release of the ‘film’- an acerbic and sarcastic letter in praise of the staples that held THE GROOVY DEADPOOL together rather than its contents-‘…awesome that your new series gives cover credits to the staples!’-also affirmed the implicit link of Deadpool to Gardevil. This link also implied that the two nefarious baddies, Ajax and Angel Dust-played by Ed Skrein and Gina Carano, respectively-symbolized Reitman and Cody-or was that Sir Scott and his film art, given the fact that Ajax/Francis was English? Thus, Deadpool’s triumph over them, in the end, possibly symbolized another triumph of Wright over Reitman and Cody as at the end of CARRIE-or a triumph of Wright over Sir Scott and his film art, particularly THE COUNSELOR.
Unfortunately, while the Gardevil, who grew up avidly pouring over superheroic narrative art as a youth, was suitably flattered to be linked to the ‘Scaredevil’, the ‘film’ not only was one of the most wretched, incoherent and just plain bad CGI enhanced superhero films ever made, it was also one of the worst films ever made in any genre, period. Too bad Miller did not ‘shoot’ this turkey before it escaped and found its way into theatres, as DEADPOOL was indeed dead in the pool. Making it all too clear that if Miller and Dis wanted to ‘…do right by Wright so that he would do Wright by them’-to paraphrase a line in the film from Wilson-so Wright did not hate Disney-the owners of Marvel-for not insisting that Lucas fire Kennedy as head of Lucasfilm so that the woman who helped Landis illegally hire Chen and Le and bring about the TZ disaster on July 23, 1982 would not join the sale of Lucasfilm and ILM to supposedly child loving and nurturing Disney in 2012, then Dis would have to fire Kennedy and make better allegorical film art-‘cuz DEADPOOL sucked! Indeed, the only good thing about DEADFOOL was that it was so bad that it was all too perfect ‘inspiration’ for a much better and gleeful roast by the usual gang of idiots at MAD.
Curiously, due to the fact that the rights to Deadpool and the X-Men were owned by Twentieth Century Fox, Disney and Marvel were free to implicitly link the poor ol’ Gardevil to Peter ‘Spider-Man’ Parker-played by Tom Holland-in the allegorical and CGI enhanced super satirical Anthony and Joe Russo film, CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016). Indeed, the dimunitive size of the new Spidey and his fondness for hoodies and a black and orange Tiger backpack that evoked the black and orange colours and team name of Wright’s workplace, Streetsville Secondary School, implicitly affirmed that the webhead was linked to the world wide webhead in the film instead of Cronenberg as in the Sam Raimi and Marc Webb Spidey films. The Russo Brothers also implied their hope that Reitman and Wright would put aside their vindictive and vituperative vendetta and work together to advance Canadian and world film art, given that Spidey and the implicitly Reitman linked Tony ‘Iron Man’ Stark-played by Robert Downey jr.-worked together with their super friends to take on the implicitly Clint Eastwood linked Steve ‘Captain America’ Rogers-played by Chris Evans-and his super supporters in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR. Speaking of superheroic narrative art, there was also a possibility that there was also an implicit Gardevil bashing intent in the recently wrapped up ‘The Last Days of Magic’ series in the Marvelous pages of DR. STRANGE.
‘By the whorey hosts of Hoggoth!’
For the Sorceror Supreme’s desperate battle against the implacable Imperator and his Empirikul army in issues 1-10 of the rebooted DOCTOR STRANGE smacked yet again of the tragicomic adventures of the hoary ol’ Gardevil. Indeed, like Gardevil, the irascible Imperator turned to the righteously furious side after being betrayed as a youth by film artist evoking sorcerors, a betrayal that shattered his youthful dreams as much as the TZ disaster did to the hopeful dreams of the Gardevil, and left him vowing revenge like righteous Wright. The fact that the irritating Imperator loved tearing aside the magic of Dr. Strange and his fellow sorcerors and replacing it with everyday empirical reality like Gardevil loved tearing aside the allegorical curtain obscuring Zone War fiction and film art and revealing their true meaning reaffirmed the implicit Gardevil intent of ‘The Last Days of Magic’ series. The fact that Dr. Strange petulantly complained in issue ten that ‘…it’s bad enough you’re here to murder me and all my friends…but you don’t have to be such a jerk about it’ also summed up the implicit and impotent frustration of the Merry Marvel Marchers that they could not stop Gardevil from writing his ‘enlightening’ chapters and essays and posting them to this site. And Marvel was not the only narrative art house to imply their frustration with Wright, as the recent SPAWN KILLS EVERYONE! #1 (2016) from Image also had an implicit Gardevil intent.
‘Oh, for God’s sake—how frikkin’ original. Ugh! But I digress…’
Cuz Spawn was shrunked and mixed with Milk n Cheese to create Spawn n Cheez and released to mock n beat n kill everyone in sight including a fanboy at San Diego Comic Con dressed as Deadpool. Standing over the body of the Deadpool fan, Spawn n Cheez snickered exultantly, ‘…There goes your sequel, Ryan! Because you’re now Dead in a Pool of blood…hahahahahahahahahahahahaha’! Of course, this comment that the fan was dead in a pool of blood evoked the Gardevil’s comment written months earlier in this essay that DEADPOOL was dead in the pool. Implying that Todd McFarlane and his Spawners had read the essay and were satirically roasting the poor ol’ Gardevil in SPAWN KILLS EVERYONE! #1. An implicit intent that would no doubt be more implicitly clear when McFarlane released the implicit CGI filmmercial for implicitly pointless Spawn n Cheez dreck. Dreck on ample display in the allegorical Marvel narrative art title, SOLO (2016).
For Solo, the new solitary assassin, liked to repeat the refrain, ‘…I’m always in the RIGHT place in the RIGHT time’, subtly underlining his implicit link to Gardevil. Speaking of implicitly symbolic superheroes, another one was seen recently in the photograph that accompanied a late December TORONTO STAR article on the DOCTOR WHO 2016 Christmas television special. For the photograph revealed that Peter Capaldi’s latest incarnation of Dr. Who resembled Master Cronenberg, implicitly linking the current Dr. Who to Toronto and the GTA. Standing behind him to his sinister left was a young Canadian actor playing a male superhero with a prominent ‘G’ on his chest-‘G’ for Gardevil? A pom my word! Luckily for me, I have never been much for tv or DOCTOR WHO, so I will not tune in to find out. However, noticing the allegorical 2015 DOCTOR WHO Christmas special, ‘Last Christmas’, in the DVD shelves at the Streetsville branch of the Mississauga Public Library also featured Capaldi’s Dr. Who, I could not resist signing it out. Sure enough, not only did Capaldi’s Dr. Who look and talk like Master Cronenberg, the 2015 DOCTOR WHO Christmas special also alluded openly to the Master’s prescient allegorical film, VIDEODROME (1982), affirming the implicit link of the latest Dr. Who to Master Cronenberg, Toronto and the GTA. Links to Toronto and its film art, artists and ‘scholars’ that returned when Oliver Stone implied that he was also runnin’ with the Gardevil in his allegorical film, SNOWDEN (2016).
‘This man is either a fool or a spy.’
For the film often evoked JOHNNY MNEMONIC, a film that was mostly created in Toronto, linking SNOWDEN to Toronto-a city that was often snowed in during the long, cold and depressing winters-and its film art, artists and ‘scholars’. Indeed, the sight of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Edward Snowden meeting up with sympathizers at the Mira Hotel in Hong Kong so that he could pass on sensitive and incriminating NSA data at the beginning of SNOWDEN evoked Johnny meeting up with Pharmakom defectors eager to pass on the data containing the cure for the dreaded and implicitly TZ disaster linked NAS at the New Beijing Hotel in New Beijing, China at the beginning of JOHNNY MNEMONIC. The sight of Snowden carrying around huge amounts of NSA data and releasing that data to the public, in the end, also evoked Johnny Mnemonic carrying around the life saving Pharmakom data that cured the dreaded NAS in his head drive and downloading that data to the internet to cure the people of the world of the TZ disaster evoking NAS blues at the end of JOHNNY MNEMONIC. Thus, SNOWDEN was linked to Toronto, a link of SNOWDEN to Toronto that was openly affirmed when some iconic footage of a Toronto Police car burning during the rioting in Toronto in July of 2010 was slyly slipped into stock news footage of rioting in Greece. Given these links to Toronto and its film art, artists and ‘scholars’, the implication was that Snowden’s revelations symbolized the poor ol’ Gardevil’s ‘insights’ into the allegorical fiction and film of the dread Zone Wars.
Speaking of Toronto film art, artists and ‘scholars’, there was a surprising implication that the battle of the new female Ghostbusters against the sour and solitary spook, Rowan North-almost as sour, solitary and spooky as Gardevil, and played by Neil Casey-with his Gary Wright cadenced and True North linked name yet again symbolized the battle against Gardevil, that pesky ghost in the cybermachine, given that Ivan Reitman, the father of Jason Reitman, was an executive producer of the creative, fun, funny, maniacally CGI enhanced and always allegorical Paul Feig film, GHOSTBUSTERS: ANSWER THE CALL (2016).
‘Are you seeing what I’m seeing?’
Indeed, Spooky North’s possession of Chris Hemsworth’s plucky and odd Ghostbuster secretary, Kevin, affirmed that implicit intent. For Kevin’s secretarial status reminded us that while Wright worked as a Library Technician at Streetsville Secondary School in Mississauga, Ontario, poor ol’ Gardevil was classified as a ‘Secretary’ by the good people at the Peel District School Board, despite the fact that Library Technicians and Secretaries have as much in common with each other as meat eaters and vegetarians. The implicit intent of GHOSTBUSTERS: ANSWER THE CALL was strengthened by the fact that two of the new Ghostbusters-Abby and Erin, played by Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig, respectively-were implicitly linked to Lucas and Kennedy, two of the main targets of Gardevil in The Wizard Of Force and the Zonebuster essays. An implicit interest in blasting the poor ol’ Gardevil that returned in the allegorical and CGI enhanced Dis and Jon Favreau film, JUNGLE BOOK (2016), based on the allegorical Rudyard Kipling short story collection, The Jungle Book (1894).
‘You’re all in my tooth!’
For Shere Khan-played by Idris Alba-the mean ol’ nasty Tiger that menaced Neel Sethi’s sweet and innocent man-cub Mowgli and his CGI enhanced animal pals throughout the film evoked a certain mean ol’ nasty Khanadian Gardevil throughout the JUNGLE BOOK. Indeed, the sight of the irascible Tiger stalking and attacking Mowgli and his pals reminded us again that Tigers was the name of both the student population in general, and of the teams in particular, of Streetsville Secondary School. Eye of the Tiger, Dis! Eye of the Tiger! And how apropos that the original allegorical Wolfgang Reitherman film, JUNGLE BOOK (1967), was not only released the year Wright was born, but was co-written by Ralph Wright, clearly a relative thrice removed. For her part, Eleanor Coppola also implicitly roasted Wright in her allegorical film, PARIS CAN WAIT (2016).
Indeed, the unusually long time it took Wright to write his ‘scholarly’ Zone War essays was gently and satirically linked to the unusually long time it took the Wright resembling and implicitly linked Jacques-played by Arnaud Viard-to drive Anne-played by Diane Lane-from Cannes to Paris throughout the film. But not that Eleanor appeared to be too worried about the creeping pace, as the slow and meandering journey and its revelations was more important than speed, in the end. The 637 MMC 75 license of Jacque’s car affirmed the implicit intent of PARIS CAN WAIT, for it reminded us again that Wright was born in 1967. The name of Anne’s husband, Mike-played by Alec Baldwin-reaffirmed the implicit intent of the film, as it reminded us that Wright’s older brother was named Michael. A chocolate treat, indeed.
Curiously, Zhang Yimou implied that he was addressing Gardevil too in the huge, impersonal, CGI enhanced and allegorical film, BEHIND THE WALL (2016), a film that was a strange hybrid of Zhang’s Hung Fu Trilogy and the exuberantly CGI enhanced, twilit and allegorical Paul Verhoeven film, STARSHIP TROOPERS (1997).
‘You think they see you as some kind of hero?’
Indeed, the sight of William-played by Matt Damon-battling hordes of blockbuster CGI beasts called Tao Tei that evoked the hordes of blockbuster CGI bugs of STARSHIP TROOPERS alongside the beautiful, bewitching and fearless Commander Lin-played by Jing Tian-and the rest of her Chinese military comrades in an alternate historic China reminded us of Gary William Wright’s equally intrepid and determined battle against the twilit and CGI enhanced blockbuster beast in his ‘scholarly’ writings, affirming the implicit Gardevil addressing intent of the film. The presence of Sir Ballard-played by Willem Dafoe-amongst the Good Forces combatting the bug beasts reaffirmed the film’s implicit interest in Greater Toronto Area film art, artists and scholars, for the name of Sir Ballard evoked James Ballard-played by James Spader-in the twilit, allegorical and implicitly David Lynch addressing David Cronenberg film, CRASH (1996).
That William, Commander Lin and company defeated the beastly blockbuster Tao Tei, in the end, also implied that Yimou approved of the determined ‘scholarly’ struggle of Gardevil, and hoped that it would also one day end in victory. While a nice implicit nod of support, the film’s strange ‘bug fu’ fusion of hung fu films like the allegorical and implicitly Landis addressing Yimou film, HERO (2002), and STARSHIP TROOPERS unfortunately came across as just plain old ‘bug fou’, leaving audiences wryly amused with THE GREAT WALL. Gardevilicious implications and relatives thrice removed that returned full Force throttle in the hard driving and cool rocking allegorical Wright film, BABY DRIVER (2017).
‘I want to be free to know the things I do are right.’
Not that you would suspect from a distance, for the wild stunt driving, crashes and frantic flights from the police made BABY DRIVER seem like an affectionate nod to Landis and such equally wild drivin’ and car crashin’ allegorical films as THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980). Indeed, a snippet of a scene from the allegorical, implicitly Cameron roasting and Toronto crafted Landis film, THE STUPIDS (1996), was seen on a television early into the film, openly linking Landis to BABY DRIVER. However, the clip also reminded us that THE STUPIDS was filmed in Toronto, linking BABY DRIVER to Toronto and implying that it was addressing Toronto’s film art, film artists and film ‘scholars’. Indeed, this implication was openly affirmed by the presence of Elgort as a getaway driver named Miles aka ‘Baby’, the film’s eponymous BABY DRIVER. For Elgort played Tommy Ross in CARRIE, a film that was also crafted in Toronto. Of course, Elgort also played the implicitly Wright linked teenaged Guild Wars player, Tim Mooney, in MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, openly linking the film to Canadian film artists, film art and ‘scholars’ in general, and to the poor ol’ Gardevil, in particular.
The Healey Building headquarters of the film’s criminal gang reaffirmed the film’s implicit interest in Toronto. For the Healey Building evoked legendary Toronto musician Jeff Healey, a fitting evocation given that BABY DRIVER was obsessed with music. How apropos that Atlanta and Toronto were both three syllable names with the first syllable composed of two letters, the second syllable composed of three letters-both second syllables beginning and ending with consonants that protectively guarded vowels, the final consonant an ‘n’ in both cases-and the third syllable composed of two letters, with the first letter a ‘t’ and the second letter a vowel. Thus, with all of these implicit and open links to Toronto and its film artists, film art, and film ‘scholars’, Wright implied that Baby’s decision to turn against the gang of robbers he worked for as a resignedly intuitive, imaginative, strangely silent, tinnitus suffering and music lovin’ getaway driver in a Han Solo evoking team jacket-robbers who included an implicitly Cody and Reitman linked pair named Monica and Jason aka Darling and Buddy, played by Eliza Gonzalez and Jon Hamm, respectively-symbolized the decision of the poor ol’ equally resignedly intuitive, imaginative, strangely silent, tinnitus suffering and music lovin’ Gardevil to stop supporting film artists after the TZ disaster and the equally disastrous TIFF HQ opening and to write about them and all their TZ disaster haunted film art for his ‘illuminating’ website. The fact that Baby left behind his life of getaway driving for a life of luv with his Jennifer Jason Leigh resembling sweetie, Debora-played by Lily James-in the end, also implied that Wright wanted Wright to leave behind lawless and blockbuster loot obsessed Gollywood…before it was too late and he was swallowed alive and whole by a CGI enhanced blockbuster beast-yipe!
Fittingly, Baby’s favourite song, the allegorical Queen tune, ‘Brighton Rock’ (1974), affirmed his implicit link to Wright, reminding us of Gardevil’s fondness for Brighton, ON. The songs chosen for the uplifting and swinging soundtrack that emphasized the word ‘right’, the Spiderman evoking web tattoo on the side of the neck of a robber known as ‘No Nose’ Eddie-played by Flea-the Batman insignia evoking bat tattoos on the neck of another robber, Leon ‘Bats’ Jefferson III-played by Jamie Foxx-and the implicit link of robbery mastermind, Doc-played by Kevin Spacey-to Gardevil arch nemesis TIFF CEO Handling reaffirmed the implicit Gardevil addressing intent of the film. An extra who resembled Toronto Mayor John Tory seen trying to hail a cab as Baby grooved down the sidewalk to the allegorical Bob & Earl tune, ‘Harlem Shuffle’ (1963), on his first Ozone coffee run after the opening robbery, a Gardevil resembling bald loner shoulder smashing Baby as he shuffled along on his second Ozone coffee run after the second robbery, a police officer-played by Keith Hudson-who evoked long serving Mississauga Councillor George Carlson when Baby rescued Debbie at Bo’s Diner and a carjacked woman-played by Andrea Frye-who resembled Mississauga Mayor Hazel McCallion later in the film also reaffirmed the implicit link of Baby to the North York born and Mississauga dwelling Gary. Last but not least, the sight of Baby working briefly at a legal job as a driver-of course!-for Good Fellas pizza reminded us all that Wright lived just down the street from Goodfellas restaurant in Streetsville.
While Baby made his getaway driving look far easier than interpreting allegorical fiction and film art, using heaven sent music like Baby to inspire his intuitive creativity in order to defeat Evil film artists, save the sweet art of film-as sweet as Debora-cleanse the Temple Theatre, and release Chen, Le and Morrow from the Twilight Zone…forever…was just the way it was for the poor ol’ Gardevil. Of course, Baby’s love of music also evoked that of the music loving and Gardevil anticipating Pilgrim in SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, making it even more likely that BABY DRIVER was the explosive trimax of the eerily surnamed Wright’s Gardevil ‘Trilogy’. Significantly, Besson also implied that he was following up LUCY with another garish meditation in his truly fantastic and allegorical film, VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS (2017).
‘I’m not asking you to die for me, I am asking you to trust me.’
Indeed, Besson implied throughout the film that the desperate and embattled quest of Dane DeHaan’s Major Valerian to save the brave new CGI enhanced world of the Mul with the expert help of Cara Delevingne’s Sergeant Laureline symbolized Gardevil’s equally desperate and quixotic attempt to enlighten and liberate the brave new world of CGI enhanced film art, implicitly making VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS another nod to Wright. And what a coincidence that Kathryn Bigelow’s latest allegorical film, DETROIT (2017), concerned itself with the riots that took place in that city in July of 1967, given that the poor ol’ Gardevil was born on July 4, 1967 just across the border in North York, Ontario.
And there also appeared to be a garish tinge to the allegorical Spielberg film, READY PLAYER ONE (2018), which was not surprising given that the allegorical Ernest Cline novel that inspired the film, Ready Player One (2011), with its perseverant Parzival obsessed with the allegorical fiction, films, music and videogames of the Skyrocking Seventies and the twilit Eighties, its Morrow evoking Ogden Morrow, its open link to Toronto via Rush and its implicit link to Toronto via the dread Sixers of the CBC evoking IOI-a link to the CBC implied by the Jonathan Torrens and Toronto evoking baddie, Nolan Sorrento-either presciently anticipated the arrival of Gardevil or was the first novel to implicitly address Gardevil. Indeed, the fact that Wade ‘Parzival’ Watts was played by Sheridan, who played weird Gary, right? in JOE and weird Ben in DARK PLACES, affirmed Spielberg’s implicit Gardevil addressing intent in READY PLAYER ONE. For his part, Ry Russo-Young implied that he was addressing both the SUPERGIRL series and a Crazy Canucklehead nicknamed Gardevil in his allegorical film, BEFORE I FALL (2017), which came across as a teen girl fusion of DONNIE DARKO and the twilit and allegorical Harold Ramis film, GROUNDHOG DAY (1993).
‘Maybe for you, there’s a tomorrow…But for some of us,
there is only today.’
For teen friends Zoey Deutch and Halston Sage-played by Samantha Kingston and Lindsay Edgecomb, respectively-evoked and resembled Canadian actress Ellen Page and Melissa Benoist, respectively, implicitly affirming both a Canadian and SUPERGIRL addressing intent in BEFORE I FALL. Thus, the fact that Deutch was finally able to free herself from endlessly repeating Valentine’s Day at her high school and at a party later that night in a scenario that evoked GROUNDHOG’S DAY by making the fateful choice to save a despised and possibly Gardevil linked fellow student, the ‘sociopathic psycho, Juliet Sykes-played by Elena Kampouris-in a scenario that evoked the end of DONNIE DARKO implied that Russo-Young was trying to liberate Wright from his obsession with the dread allegorical Zone Wars at the end of BEFORE I FALL, or his amusing insistence that Kara symbolized Gary in SUPERGIRL.
Speaking of garish wannabe superheroes, Jon Watts implied again that Holland’s naïve, innocent, excitable, foolish and accident and chaos prone new Peter ‘Spider-Man’ Parker was linked to Gardevil in the allegorical and CGI enhanced super satirical film, SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (2017).
‘Hey, Gary. How you doing?’
Indeed, the fact that the friendly neighborhood Spiderman lived off Queens Boulevard in the Queens borough of New York in a webswinging apartment instead of the usual brownstone with his attractive Aunt May-played by Marisa Tomei-implicitly affirmed Parker’s link to Wright, reminding us that the unfriendly neighborhood Gardevil lived off Queen Street in the Streetsville town amidst the city of Mississauga, ON, in a swingin’ bachelor pad. The Greater Vancouver Area evoking map of New York on Parker’s bedroom wall curiously reaffirmed Parker’s implicit link to Wright, reminding us that Wright grew up in the GVA. Seeing Parker attend the Midtown School of Science & Technology, the home of the Tigers, also implicitly affirmed that Parker was linked to Wright in the film, for the name reminded us again that Wright’s Mississauga workplace, Streetsville Secondary School, was also the home of the Tigers. Indeed, the Tiger mascot seen running frantically across the frame in the background of several of the Midtown School scenes affirmed the implicit link of MSST and SSS, for the MSST mascot was the twin of the SSS Tiger mascot. How apropos that MSST was established in 1982, the year Wright’s life was changed forever by the TZ disaster.
The resemblance of Parker’s classmate, Flash-played by Tony Revolori-to fellow Mississaugan Russell Peters reaffirmed the implication that Parker was linked to Wright. Karen-voiced by Jennifer Connelly-the helpful female voiced A.I. that went with the Stark designed Spidey suit reaffirmed the implication that Parker was linked to Wright, for Karen evoked ‘Commander’ Karen Fitzpatrick, the all knowing and indefatigable human PC LAN expert at Streetsville Secondary School. Last but not least, the implicit link of evildoers Adrian ‘Vulture’ Toomes and Herman ‘Shocker #2’ Schultz-played by Michael Keaton and Bokeem Woodbine, respectively-to TIFF miscreants Handling and Bailey reaffirmed the film’s implicit interest in Wright and his wacky feuds. Watts also joined the Russo Brothers in implicitly hoping that Wright and Reitman would stop feuding and start working together to advance Canadian and world film art, given that the implicitly Reitman linked Tony ‘Iron Man’ Stark-played again by Downey jr.-supported Parker in the film and invited him to join the Avengers. The fact that Parker turned down Stark’s offer and headed back to his lonely indie superhero life also implied that Watts was aware that Wright was too much of a lonesome and obdurately indie real life superhero himself to ever join any film art promoting organization. Curiously, David Lynch also implied that he was addressing Gardevil in the dream-like, slightly CGI enhanced and allegorical telemoving painting series, TWIN PEAKS: A LIMITED EVENT SERIES (2017).
‘Mr. Hastings, are you the author of an online journal
or blog entitled THE SEARCH FOR THE ZONE?’
Indeed, the CN Tower evoking tower of the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas affirmed the implicit interest of the series in Toronto, while the Mississauga evoking Vegas suburb of Rancho Rosa affirmed the implicit interest in the series in Mississauga film ‘scholars’. The presence of Amanda Seyfried and Caleb L. Jones as Rebecca ‘Becky’ and Steven Burnett, respectively, reaffirmed the implicit interest in Toronto and its film art and artists in TWIN PEAKS: A LIMITED EVENT SERIES, for it reminded us that Seyfried played troubled prostitute Chloe in the allegorical and Toronto set Atom Egoyan film, CHLOE (2009), and that Jones played Syd March in the allegorical and Toronto set Brandon Cronenberg film, ANTIVIRAL (2012). The presence of Jennifer J. Leigh and Tim Roth as Chantal and Gary ‘Hutch’ Hutchens, respectively, also affirmed the implicit interest in Canadian film art and artists, as the two hillbilly assassins evoked Cameron and his latest wife, Suzy Amis. The inclusion on the soundtrack of the allegorical and Lynch re-mixed Muddy Magnolias tune, ‘American Woman’ (2015), which evoked and mocked the allegorical Guess Who tune, ‘American Woman’ (1970), reaffirmed the implicit interest of TWIN PEAKS: A LIMITED EVENT SERIES in Canada and its art, artists and ‘scholars’.
Curiously, and for their part, implicitly did the Russo Brothers hope to end the sub-genre of the dread allegorical Zone Wars known as Cinema Garite by having the implicitly Gardevil linked Peter ‘Spider-Man’ Parker-played again by Holland-in their CGI enhanced super satirical film, AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018), in the end fade away int