**** 

 

!HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

 

Welcome back

 

to the ultimate

 

guide to the

 

dread allegorical

 

Zone Wars

 

and world's finest

 

instrument

 

of

 

mass allegorical

 

instruction!

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

And welcome back

 

to the land of

 

the ice and snow

 

Of the midnight sun

 

and of the aurora's

 

eerie glow

 

!HAMMER OF

 

THE NUCKS!

 

Will drive our

 

country forward

 

For with the

 

Constitution

 

supporting us

 

How can we

 

not achieve 

 

great things?

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

To start off

 

the New Year write,

 

I have

 

revised and expanded

 

'At Home With

 

Allegories', 

 

the essay on the

 

film art of

 

Guillermo Del Toro.

 

I have also

 

finally

 

rewrote the essays

 

on

 

Film Masters

 

James Cameron

 

and 

 

Sir Peter Jackson,

 

and whipped them

 

into some sort

 

of possible shape

 

at last.

 

?Haven't I?

 

!O no, Gardevil!

 

!?What have you

 

done now?!

 

?!WHAT HAVE

 

YOU

 

DONE NOW?!

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

If you just consume

 

pop culture

 

and

 

don't process it,

 

critcally,

 

or

 

try to elevate it

 

in your mind

 

and 

 

make it your own,

 

it's just sad.

 

 

- Guillermo Del Toro

 

 

 

!Plain old sad, 

 

people!

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

As for

 

Moanin' Owen

 

and

 

Screamin Stephen

 

King, 

 

all I can write is, 

 

'...the green parrot

 

 

LIVES!'

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

Tired of 

 

difficult actors

 

and actresses?

 

Fed up with 

 

all night shoots

 

and productions

 

going over schedule

 

and budget

 

yet again?

 

Then clearly you need

 

 

CINETRON.

 

 

 

CINETRON 

 

is the revolutionary

 

new digital

 

film art system

 

that writes, 

 

casts, produces, 

 

shoots,

 

enhances with fx, 

 

edits, scores,

 

promotes

 

and releases

 

your cyberfilm

 

straight to

 

the internet

 

all at the carefree

 

clik

 

of a mouse - 

 

IN ONLY 24 HRS!

 

 

THAT'S RIGHT -- 

 

ONLY 24

 

HOURS!!

 

 

So sit back, 

 

relax

 

and enjoy the 

 

brave new world 

 

of cyber cinema

 

with 

 

CINETRON - 

 

the magical

 

digital film art

 

of tomorrow - 

 

!!!TODAY!!!